You gave me a story – comma – just a full stop away

You gave me a story. The only story that I was not able to write.

Every time.. I think I know what I want to tell you. When I’m in the shower, while washing dishes, at night when my mind starts composing novels instead of sleeping. But then the sun rises and all the words that made sense few hours ago now feel empty, worthless, irrelevant if you may. It’s like for a moment there I’m this fearless fighter and the next second I’m getting tired trying to fill that void.

One day you sent me a „,” and told me that our relationship does not have a „.” – full stop – ‘cause it never ended, so a co(m)ma was more suited to describe what we have. You see? You gave me a story. But how can I write about it if it never ended? I never wrote about things whose end I did not know. I’ve never did anything without having at least a misty idea about how it should end.

It’s been years since I have written that and let it as a draft. I have read it many times and the same words applied each and every time, leaving me wordless, with no idea of what should I add. I went through this again and again with no different result until….. until you came here. Seeing you so close changed my perspective for the first time in what it feels … ages.

You see, the thing is that I have written so many stories with the end in mind and looked around for people that just fell into place to play the part, the best actors I could get for the script. But you being here, made me think in a different way. You made me get out of my head and look into my soul. And realize that maybe it’s time to first find someone and only then write the story, together. And edit it and erase parts and write them again. With no specific ending in mind, just enjoying the co-writing process for as long as it lasts. 

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Give up controlling the entire plot. It’s frightening, I know, it won’t be easy. You will lose parts of yourself, but you will gain so much more. It’s getting out of the fantasy and start living. And I promise you, whatever it takes, it will be worth it.

You know how you always choose the title last? Let’s change that also. I’ll start. We will call it ‘- comma- just a full stop away’.